Ben is gone and I have sunken into my deepest, truest self. The house is messy, I ate a bag of chocolate chips after the kids went to bed, I have crafted my head off, I have read books into the wee hours of the morning with a kitty in my bed (no kitties allowed in bed when Mr. Dager is home!!), and I taught Haven how to embroider today instead of how to write a 3 paragraph essay.
I need Ben so badly. I can not imagine this side of myself on the loose for much longer – crazy tired, crafty, lonely cat lady. 🙂
I needed Ben to move heaven and earth to help me get to a funeral this weekend. A dear friend’s mom died very suddenly. Our cars can not go far these days so he rented me a car (with heated seats – SCORE!) and watched the kids so I could go to Michigan and hug my friend. I felt so silly sitting there crying for a wonderful lady I’d never met, but after I gave my friend her hug and reminded her that when she goes to be with Jesus it will be standing room only at her memorial because she is a mover and shaker for the Lord (she SO is) I knew it was right to come.
Being at the funeral reminded me how important it is to tell people who they are in Christ and who they are to you while they are alive. Being at the funeral reminded me that without Ben I would have stayed home and missed an opportunity to show my love to a friend.
When I die, if anyone comes to my memorial, it will be because Ben loves people so much, and you can’t be around him and not love people too.
Miss you babe.