Wrestle Mania

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Home…

Pretty sweet isn’t it? What a blessing to have such a great place to move into in a few months. So much to look forward to, and yet…

You know me. I just can’t leave things alone. As soon as things started moving along with whole move, and we were offered this great new position, and we found a swwweeet house all 5 of us are so thrilled about, and God is blessing with some much needed encouragement and confirmation – wouldn’t you know, I’d start to wrestle with Him.

Why God? Why all this blessing now? Why this great house? Can we handle the blessings as graciously and faithfully as you deserve? Lord, I’m finding it hard to accept this awesome house. It’s toooo nice. Lord, I don’t deserve it – take it back. Did we learn what we were supposed to? Ok,God. How long will this little season last? Is there something around the next corner I should get ready for?

And on and on I go, wrestling with Him just as hard as I did when we were in more difficult places.

This Sunday I’ll sing “He’s Always Been Faithful” – Sara Groves version. Such a great song and it’s a good exercise for my soul to sing it. I don’t think it is an accident that Paul asked me to sing it. I think God wants me to sing it – to proclaim His faithfulness even as I struggle to embrace it.

His faithfulness is so unlike what we experience in even the best of human relationships and if you’ve been disappointed along the way – as we all have – it’s hard to accept that God is who He says He is. Surely He has motivations just as man does to lead us on, to pull the rug out from under us when we least expect it, to further His own ends and leave us behind. These are all things I fear and push against in my spirit.

It’s an act of worship and faith to sing these words and I hope it pleases God to know as I’m wrestling with myself too –  to believe these words more fully every day.

Morning by morning I wake up to find
The power and comfort of God’s hand in mine
Season by season I watch Him, amazed
In awe of the mystery of His perfect ways
All I have need of, His hand will provide
He’s always been faithful to me.

I can’t remember a trial or a pain
He did not recycle to bring me gain
I can’t remember one single regret
In serving God only, and trusting His hand
All I have need of, His hand will provide
He’s always been faithful to me.

This is my anthem, this is my song
The theme of the stories I’ve heard for so long
God has been faithful, He will be again
His loving compassion, it knows no end
All I have need of, His hand will provide
He’s always been faithful, He’s always been faithful
He’s always been faithful to me

3 thoughts on “Wrestle Mania

  1. Katie says:

    WE ARE SO EXCITED FOR YOU! This house IS awesome!!!! And I love Sara Groves- so so much. She says it well!!

    Welcome (almost) to C-U!

  2. Jane says:

    Jess, the house looks like such a wonderful place to call home…God knows how many you will come into contact with that need that blessing of home, not only home in your heart but in your physical space as well. It’s all about using what He provides to accomplish His purpose for your life. God bless you real good kiddo!

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