Today I attended a MOPS-like group – so fun. Anyway, the guest speaker was an incredibly fashionable, strikingly beautiful, “stylist.” I didn’t exactly know what that was until today, but she is EXACTLY what I need. She is not only a hair stylist, she is a PERSON stylist. She helps women head to toe. I told her I had problems in the following areas.
1. Hair color. Is it right for my skin tone?
2. Skin tone. Is it right with my hair? What about my pale legs? What can I use (besides Lancome, or Este Lauder) that will give me a nice fake tan, but not cost me my life savings.
3. Body. Um. Whole thing.
She said, “Be more specific.”
3. Body. I know I’m supposed to be hour-glass, but I’m currently pear because of some problems I have with donuts. What should I do to get back my hour-glass, and in the mean time camouflage my pear?
4. Color. Can’t do it!!
That was all I had time for because there was line out the door of other women just like me who suddenly looked down and said, “What possessed me to put this on today?” after she was done speaking.
Anyway, I won’t bore you with the tips she gave ME – but she did have some general tips that I thought you should all know right this minute because I didn’t know ANY of these, and I’m totally horrified. I don’t want you left in the dark any longer.
1. Capris are not in style.
You could hear a pin drop in the room when she announced this. Picture a room full of nursing and pony-tail sporting moms in, you guessed it, capri pants! We were all devastated and confused! What does this mean? How could this happen? Here’s the thing, capris cut off your “leg- line” in an awful place and should be avoided. (Did you know you have a “leg-line?”) So, if you don’t feel comfortable in shorts and it’s too hot for pants – go for a skirt.
2. You must shave the top of your feet and toes.
I don’t have hair on my feet, but I MIGHT, I say MIGHT have some very fine, very blonde hair on a toe or two. I mean, who looks close enough at my feet to notice that? I guess more people than I think, because this is one of her very serious pet peeves. So, be warned.
3. The 2 Color Rule
OK. This is complicated, but I’ll try and get it right. Pull out two colors from your outfit that you could accessorize with. Example – you are wearing a blue and white top and white pants. Accessorize with one color in the outfit, (I’ll go with blue) and a complimentary color not currently included, (I’ll go with yellow.) Also, accessorize with 1 color twice, and the other color only once. So, grab a blue handbag, and put on a yellow bangle and a yellow scarf. Got it?
Apparently you need to have some sort of collection of fashion jewelry, handbags, shoes, hair clips, etc. to dress up your outfits.
5. If you are afraid of color – try lavender.
I am personally terrified of color. I always come home with BLACK! Lavender is a good color for most people and is a fashion forward color for spring – so I’m told.
6. Be very careful about panty-lines.
I was so surprised to hear that she wears Shapewear every day. Basically, a modern-day girdle, but nicer. She said that if you see a women who looks good in her clothes you can pretty much bet she is wearing some sort of shape enhancing undergarment. AND, I guess they are sold at Target, but NOT in the underwear section. They are over by the panty hose. I didn’t even know Target had an entire panty hose section. Cool!
I don’t know about you, but I need a personal stylist. I think a 6 hour – initial consultation and total makeover would be in order. Then a couple of seasonal check-ups would be great!
A woman in deep mourning over the loss of her capri pants