Ben and I talked a few nights ago about our plans for school after this spring. Turns out we are not exactly on the same page. Of course, we are experiencing it on two totally different levels.
It has been a lot of work for me since I’m new at this and I don’t have a pre-planned curriculum. He has seen me at the computer late into the night printing off worksheets and preparing crafts. It also hasn’t been all roses either, trying to figure out how to be mom and teacher. It’s hard to remain emotionally neutral about their work at times.
“What!!!! Your 7 is backwards! BACKWARDS!!! You will never get a job if you can’t write at 7! OH NO!!!!!!”
All that to say, it hasn’t been easy. I don’t feel like I’m all that good at it.
On some gut level though, I like it. I like it a lot. More than I thought I would – a lot more, actually. I honestly totally expected to hate having the kids with me all day. That sounds harsh, but towards the end of this past summer, I nearly locked them all in their rooms for good.
I also thought it would feel burdensome, like an infringement on my time and energy. And honestly, I thought I might not like myself. I thought I might overnight lose my entire identity and become, “A Homeschooling Mother of Three” which in my book equaled a person who had totally lost the ability to have their own interests, or wear anything but sweat pants.
It’s not like that.
So, where is Ben in this? I think he would still prefer we send them to school and he has some very good reasons why and it’s very possible we may do that in the fall. The public schools here are really good, better than I expected. It will be a tough decision. I guess I’m just surprised to find I will actually, genuinely feel torn.