Crash

I’ve been letting the kids stay up really late these last few nights. Part of it is we don’t have a clock up yet anywhere in the house, so I honestly usually have no clue what time it is. Last night at 10:00!!! when I was finally tucking the kids in (bad mommy – bad mommy!!!!), Haven teared up. It was one of the those gut wrenching, heartbroken, shrivel up your face, breath stealing, cries. She was homesick.

What could I do? I am homesick too. We cried together for a good long time – probably too long to be ready for day one of The Homeschool Experiment today. My spirit was able to reassure her of God’s goodness, His provision, His desire to care for her… but my flesh was right there with her. We both just wanted to pack up and go home.

I miss home. This place is not home. Nothing feels right. Nothing feels wrong, but nothing feels right. When we first moved to Madison, it felt like home after about 2 minutes. This is going to be different. Thats OK. My spirit is really at peace. I feel called, assured, and invested. I’m here for the long haul in my heart, but… well you know.

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