I’m so not good at drawing a hard line. If my kids require a consequence, I’m usually pretty soft on them. Time outs, the “I’m disappointed in you” speech, a very occasional spanking. Tonight though, H6 crossed the line in a very serious way.
I laid out a very serious consequence in my book. No hanging out at the playground after school for 2 days. (Ouch…can you just imagine poor H6 having to sit in the van while sister and brother play with the other school kids??) I thought this was pretty tough. I also built in an “If you give me any more trouble about this particular incident consequence.”
Well, she did give me a whopping load of more trouble, and I had to enforce the big one – the consequence to end all consequences – the “what mother in the world would ever do this” kind of consequence… I am not allowing her to go to her friend’s birthday party this week.
I’m so sad. Sad because I really want her to go. Sad because of the very bad choices she’s made tonight. Sad because I’m going to hate enforcing this all week. Sad because Ben isn’t here to help. But, really, so, so sad because my little daughter’s hearts was so full to the brim with sin tonight I almost didn’t recognize her face. It was all scrunched up with rage and frustration. She said things she knew would hurt us all. It was so raw, and revealing, and sad.
I know the gospel will fit into this picture, probably even tonight. I know her heart will soften. I know hugs and forgiveness will be exchanged. But, I have to draw this hard line with her, which I think is part of loving her. I want her to take responsibility for bad choices, even ones made in anger.
Hard, hard, hard…
On a lighter note, since Ben had been gone, I’ve eaten nearly a quarter of one of the best, “From Scratch” chocolate cakes I’ve ever tasted. I’ll share the recipe tomorrow. It’s the best.