Ben’s only been gone 48 hours and I’m already a mess. Not in the usual sense. The kids and I are fine. We’ve been eating. H6 got to school and back. We are all showered and smell nice. But, my heart’s a mess.
We have official begun Plan B. This is the plan where I become the hero of my testimony. This is the season where I’m supposed to learn all the lessons that will make me godly and wise and sought after. At the very least I’m supposed to draw near to God and allow Him to carry me through a very different season.
I’m very afraid I’m going to fail at this. My worst fear is that this will be nothing but hard and that when we are all finally together in Dekalb, we’ll be working on all the stuff that got strange between us while we lived Plan B.
And that, my friends, is the real me. Totally pessimistic, fearful, and melodramatic. If, by God’s great grace, there is some wonderful story at the end of all this, it will not be because of me in any way, shape, or form.
Wait a minute. Maybe that’s the whole point.