Some of you know, I have added something different, difficult, terrible, wonderful, painful, fulfilling, and CRAZY to my life over these last few weeks. It’s called RUNNING.
I hate running. Everything about it feels wrong to me. 2 seconds in and my body and mind are both screaming, “STOP THIS!!” Poor Ben has become my personal trainer, and I’m just praying he can stick with me. I plead and whine each and every day about going.
At first I hated every minute of it, now I just hate nearly every minute of it. (Confession: I did kind of enjoy it this weekend for the first time…) I think I’m making progress.
Here’s the thing though. I have NO will power. I’ve never succeeded in making myself do something I didn’t want to do – EVER (except giving birth and that kinda doesn’t count.) Unfortunately for me, I’m sort of good at enough things that I’ve just gotten by all these years.
It’s gotten to the point where I hesitate to set ANY sort of goal for myself because I just figure I’ll never accomplish it anyway. “I guess I’ll just be average…” But now, in my 30’s, I’m so desperate to grow spiritually, emotionally, and even physically, I’m willing to put myself through some pain.
Becoming someone who exercises regularly isn’t an end in and of itself. I just feel like if I can experience success in this, I might just set another goal, and then another, and then another.
Anyway, here’s the REAL question. I’ve discovered I can run if I listen to my IPOD REALLY, REALLY loudly – I’m talking insanely loud. I’m talking so loud most people inside their houses, vacuuming, can probably hear me coming a mile away. There’s just something about having Sting screaming in my ear that keeps me going. So which is it?
My hearing or running in a 5K at the end of the summer?