We have two venues at our church. One, where the preaching is live and the music is a great mix of traditional and contemporary. Then, the other venue where the lights are dimmed, the music is much more contemporary, and there is a coffee bar in the back. The sermon is shown on a huge video screen, but the music is live. It was my first time helping lead worship there last night, and I was a little intimidated when I first saw my name on the schedule.
You are probably thinking that’s because I don’t worship there. Me? A 33 year old mom? Well, actually that’s where I prefer to go on Sunday. I love the dark room and (and the coffee too.) I love that the dimmed lights allow me freedom to raise my hands without feeling the whole room can see me. It lends itself to a very intimate and private worship experience, which is hard for me to accomplish in nearly any other setting.
Admittedly, it’s a bit of a trendy place. It usually doesn’t phase me because it’s very common for us to just stop what we are doing and go to church. We don’t change our clothes, or brush our hair. There are trendy people at church, but there are lots that look just like us. But this would be different. I’d be on stage with bright lights on me!
The worlds of some famous quote kept playing over and over in my mind as I prepared for the time.
“Beware of places and people that require you to purchase new clothes.”
I’m sure I’m butchering the quote, but the idea is there. I shouldn’t be concerned about whether or not I looked trendy or not. What does that have to do with leading worship? So, I resolved not to concern myself with my outfit, and be myself.
Well, somewhere, secretly, I must have been holding on a little bit to some desire to be trendy, because when it came time to get ready on Sunday, I couldn’t find the top I’d planned to wear – my only trendy top – it was NO WHERE TO BE FOUND. I looked high and low. It was gone. And I was in TEARS about it.
There it was. I was totally worried about looking like a frumpy mom up there and that’s ALL I cared about. My desire to honor the Lord and serve His people was the farthest thing from my mind. Well, thank you Jesus for stealing my shirt, because it was the best possible thing that could have happened.
I was able to snap out of it and realize where my head and heart were just in the nick of time. And, praise the Lord, it was such a wonderful time of leading worship. I felt totally uninhibited – which for those of you who know me personally – you may not even totally believe it.
And you know what, I just know I’m going to find that top somewhere today!