A Little Peak

We had a fantastic time on vacation – and thanks so much to those who prayed for our health. God answered your prayers – and kept the kids sick. This, however, ended up being the reason why we had such a refreshing experience.

We were in Florida to attend the The Navigators National Collegiate Conference. Every four years our organization hosts this conference to gather all of us who labor on college campuses in the US for a time of encouragement and teaching. Typically, Ben and I look forward to these conferences as a time to learn and connect with our fellow Nav staffers, and leaders we don’t see frequently.

Because the kids were sick this year, we couldn’t put them in the childcare offered at the conference, or get together with friends who had small kids, as we didn’t want to spread the joy of fevers and runny noses though out the conference. This forced us to evaluate what content each of us most wanted to attend, and only go to that, swapping being with the kids, back and forth. The kids and I alternated between lying low at the condo watching Animal Planet, and playing on the beach. We did very little else – and it was exactly what we all needed.

I could almost hear the collective “sigh” as each of laid our burdens down on the boardwalk and relaxed and played in the beautiful sand and waves.

God did two really special things for me on the trip. Seeing the kids enjoy a fun-filled, relaxing vacation filled me with joy. You know how I’ve struggled at times with all the upheaval and transition we’ve dragged the kids through over this last year. Despite the peace God’s given me in my soul that He loves them, that He will use these experiences to reveal Himself to them, it was wonderful to see God bless their socks off. I know each of them felt God had designed each day just for them and saw His caring and loving provision of sun and waves and free kayaks. They all had a sense God was saying, “Thanks kids! You’ve earned this great vacation. Enjoy yourself!” And they sure did.

God also allowed time to reconnect with a dear friend from our days in TN, Allison. We enjoyed a wonderful conversation after the kids were tucked in one night. I’m always so blessed when I get to see how God is moving and working even in the midst of hard stories. I feel really humbled to be friends with such compassionate and earnest people who God is using in such interesting ways.

God is using a verse a speaker shared at the conference to help me continue to remain relaxed and filled with the sense of peace and care I felt on those beaches.

It’s Psalm 9:10 -  “And those who know they name will put their trust in Thee. For Thou, O Lord, hast not forsaken those who seek Thee.”

Sorry for the old Englishy version. I’m so used to NASB, I can’t switch. But isn’t that the truth though? I know God. I can trust God. He has not forsaken me. Amen.

Honest Scrap

Ness, over at Happiness is a Butterfly,  included my blog in her list of 7 Honest blogs! So, the deal is I have to tell you 10 “honest” things about myself. Well, I’ve been mulling it over as I unpack from vacation…

1. I also, just like Ness, don’t enjoy talking on the the phone. I also, just like Ness, only ever call my mom, because she doesn’t really like the phone either. However – I love to text. So, hey…text me!

2. I am also, just like Ness, stuck in neutral about the more kids thing. I think I would really like another one, but feel conflicted about why – is it because I just miss having a little lump of love who will hug me and snuggle with me whenever I want to, do I have the physical stamina to have another one and not totally drag the family down for the next year, am I just trying to escape the hard work of really getting to know and develop my relationship with my older kids…

3. I tend to over think things a bit… see above.

4. I wrestle with anxiety. However, I really do wrestle with it, which means I try not to let it win in my life.

5. I, just like Ness, am a jack of all trades, master of none.

6. I like a lot of external structure in my life. That’s why public school is working out for us right now, it’s why I love our big mega church with lots of programs and groups all set up and ready to go, why I love living by the academic calendar… I think it’s because I have no internal structure. I’m a big blob of feeling, intuition, ideas… All the external structure allows me to stay productive and lets my insides stay jumbled and jiggly, which is how I like ‘um.

7. I have always dreamed of living on a huge farm/ranch with lots of animals. I would love to use the place as a rest-stop type of place for missionary families who need some pampering and encouragement, and a tiny weeny bit of counseling.

8. I would like to write a book. I have a plot, 2 heroines, 1 villan, and a working title ready to go.

9. I am prejudiced against very confident people – people who don’t have a “but-clause.” You know, people who are unwilling to acknowledge they might be wrong, or under influences they aren’t aware of, or not as well read as they think, etc. I think it’s because I grew up with an attorney for a father, who of course, was never, ever, ever wrong.

10. I don’t floss very frequently. Ugh. How embarrassing.

And so, this is how this whole Honest Scrap thing works.

1. Must thank the person who gave you the award and list their blog and link it.

You rock Ness. Thank you!

2. Share “10 Honest things” about yourself. (check)
3. Present this award to 7 others whose blogs you find brilliant in content and/or design, or those who have encouraged you.
4. Tell those 7 people they’ve been awarded HONEST SCRAP and inform them of these guidelines in receiving the award.

Ok, here -in no particular order- are 7 blogs I read regularly:

1.  Well, Ness at Happiness is a Butterfly – but she already knows that. Duh.

2.  Megan at Half Pint House. She and I have known each other since college, and she is the most industrious women I know.

3. Megan’s husband, Craig, at Second Drafts, and I have also been friends for eons. He used to be my boss, and a really good boss at that.

4. Susie is my super-duper friend. She has seen me through thick and thin – and she just moved to the town I grew up in. Yeah!

5. Mark and Dana, over at Life According to Zaba, have been true, true, friends of our family for a while now. They are the type of friends you call on to pray for you, even if you haven’t talked with them in a while. They are good people – and the dog is just icing on the cake.

6. My friend, Allison, over at Stellar Propeller, is a wonderful photographer, and amazing friend.

7. The Long Thread…for sewing ideas.

There you have it! Up next…vacation pics! And thanks again, Ness. I sure do hope we meet in person soon.

Flip

Late last night we all returned from…

Journey 09 was our regional Fall Conference…wait, do you know what I’m talking about? Here we are…

See NIU up there in the corner? We belong to the Indiana/Illinois Region. So, all the campuses who have Nav groups up and running in Indiana and Illinois gathered together with as many of our beloved students as we could convince to come (a little over 200) to do “Journey 09″ together.

The highlights:

1. Our students are totally amazing. I sat beaming with pride as I surveyed the meeting space that first night. Here sit some of the most talented and gifted young men and women in the whole world. Here they are soaking up the truth about who God is and who they are. Here they are learning how to discover God through His word. Watch out world. God’s kingdom is coming, and it’s coming through these students.

2. Our region has committed to a partnership with the  collegiate Navigators in Zambia. It is a sending/receiving relationship where we will send students to learn and be impacted by an opportunity to labor amongst our Zambian brothers and sister, and they will do the same, graciously sending us students to teach us and influence our campus works here in Indiana and Illinois. Nearly 30 students signed up to go this summer. Then, we asked the students to consider giving to the Zambian staff, to help offset the costs of them sending their students to us, and to help begin an internship for new college grads who have an interest in full-time ministry there in Zambia. The Zambian staff asked for $7,000 – our students pledged $13,000!!!

3. Our NIU students dived into the experience. They bonded, they prayed, they asked good questions, they let God move them. It was beautiful, absolutely beautiful to watch.

4. I went to a fantastic workshop on Leading Bible studies.  You know when you do something so much you feel like you could do it with your eyes closed, walking backwards, and eating a hot fudge sundae, but you also know – it could be better – you’re stuck in a rut – you need ideas?? I got a ton of really good ones, and was once again reminded how precious these small groups are, and how much time, and effort, and prayer, they deserve.

5. The kids had a total blast enjoying the property of Spring Hill in southern Indiana where we spent the first half of our summer. There was only one little hitch. Guess who forgot to set her alarm clock back to central time and woke the kids up an entire hour early for school this morning, on a morning they were already extra wiped out and tired? Whoops.

So, I’m feverishly unpacking and doing laundry, because we leave on Thursday for another conference. Don’t feel sad for us. It’s in Florida and even though there will be “work” we are also going to do a little vacation on the side with the kids.

And just one more thing, to those of you who read this and support our ministry financially – thank you. Being a part of this work is a true joy. We couldn’t do it without you.

Pumpkin Fest 2009

Tonight was opening night for our town’s Pumpkin Fest.

1st stop – Turn in our pumpkins for the big contest.

The entire courthouse lawn is now covered with thousands of pumpkins!!! We were nearly first in line to enter because we heard there would be big lines later. (Thanks for the hint Jenny!)

Second Stop – Redeem our “Free Hot Dog and Soda with Each and Every Entry” coupon.

(We got swarmed by sad little bees trying to live just one more day, so we had to stuff and go.)

Third Stop – Trick or Treating on Main St.

Mmmm…. the Bakery handed out cooooookies.

One of our fine, locally owned restaurants was in on the fun.

Movie theater popcorn and coupons!! Yippeee!!

Just walkin’

There was just one little fussy moment. Ben and I got to talking about our plan/dream/hope to pull the kids out of school in 4 years and head overseas for awhile so our kids can go through the awkward years enjoying the comforts of home school and missionary work in Africa. Libby thought we said we were leaving her and moving to Africa, like-today. It was touch and go for a minute. Then we said she could eat some Nerds and she was all good.

This little kitty raked in a couple of FULL-SIZE candy bars. I think she charmed them with her cuteness.

This little kitty would not share her cookie with her mommy. Bad kitty.

And this little bat stole my heart, just like he does every day.

That a fun day!

Vanessa and Phil

I went to a beautiful wedding on Saturday!

It was a very lovely wedding and I had a lovely time catching up with Madison friends. Here are a few of their lovely faces.

Boy do I miss this incredible gal…wise, beautiful, warm, smart, loves God’s people – yup – the total package!

Oh, here’s another one of the those “total package” gals. Ksenija… stunning, funny, sweet, getting her Phd in something really, really, tough, and also a faithful Christ follower.

Wow – look at how we are both “glistening” with love. Tee Hee. Here’s Martha. I’m getting choked up just thinking about her… joyful, engaging, charming, stylish, and yet another passionate follower of Jesus.

There were so many others…Val, Heidi, Jacklyn, Elisa, Rachel, Karen, Patty, Rae…

I miss you ladies. You are the bomb. Thanks for a very fun time Saturday.

Craft Fur

Dear Craft Fur,

I love you.  I hate you.

Yours,

The person who just made two cats and one bat out of all the craft fur remnants she could find at JoAnne’s and has just spent the last hour repairing her sewing machine – it hates craft fur, and vacuuming the entire house – because even fake cats and bats seem to shed.

PS: Thank you Ms. “I bought almost the entire bolt of both the white and black craft fur, leaving just enough for someone else, 1/2 price in the remnant bin.” I really like you and I’m not being sarcastic.

Soups On!

Someone, who shall remain nameless in order to protect the struggling, in our household needs to eat a lot of fiber to keep him/her, um, regular. The entire family is joining the, err, fun! I’ve personally learned a lot about cooking with beans which are my new favorite thing in all the world. They are so cheap, easy to flavor, and very cheap. Oh, I said that already.

Anyway, here’s my new favorite recipe compliments of The Mayo Clinic! (I take my fiber-related recipes very seriously! Tee Hee!)

White Chicken Chili

The Basics:

Serves around 6, can be made in 30 minutes, and tastes like you slaved all day. We love it with chips, cornbread, or salad.

Ingredients:

1 can (10 oz) white chunk chicken (I just discovered this stuff. Where have you been all my life canned chunk chicken? I love you.)

3 cups cooked white beans (That’s about 2 cans and I’ve tried every and all combination of the beans that exist of every color and they all work just fine.)

1 can (14.5 oz) diced tomatoes (The low sodium variety works very well)

4 cups chicken broth (or veggie)

1 medium onion, chopped (I like to cut mine into very large chunks. It adds to the texture and the kids can easily pick them out if they don’t care for them.)

1/2 green pepper, chopped (I’ve started leaving the green pepper out and I like it slightly better that way.)

2 garlic cloves, minced

2 tsp chili powder

1 tsp cumin

1 tsp oregano (I never seem to have this, so I’ve used Italian seasoning and basil both and they work great too.)

Monterey Jack Cheese (reduced fat is recommended, but I’m allergic to low-fat or reduced-sugar items in all their forms.)

Fresh Cilantro (Don’t skip this. It’s the best part.)

Directions:

Combine chicken, beans (rinsed and drained), tomatoes and chicken broth. Cover and simmer over medium heat.

Spray non-stick pan with cooking spray and saute onion, peppers, and garlic until soft.

Add onion mixture to soup pot. Stir in chili powder, cumin, and oregano. Simmer for 10 minutes.

Serve with a generous sprinkle of shredded cheese and chopped cilantro.

Yum.

PS: I’ve 1.5′d the recipe a few times for company and it’s always a hit!!

Me = anomaly

OK, one more thing on this little train of thought. Again, thank you guys so much for your words of encouragement about my little life and contribution here – but just one tiny, weeny thing.

Did you know, I’m an anomaly??

Something anomalous : something different, abnormal, peculiar, or not easily classified

You see, yes – I have a job, a calling rather. And yes, I do actually work outside the home in a sense, and believe it or not, a friend I’m just getting to know told me she considered me a working mom. I do share the honor of working on the campus of NIU with Ben and did just recently accept the position of “Director of Communications.” Hee Hee.

Really though, I do love my “job” leading Bible studies, hosting students, meeting with gals, writing newsletters, doing admin work for Ben, and backing pies for Pumpkin Carving Socials.

But here’s the thing, those are all things on my list. I get to contribute and develop in a way that allows me to be a mom the majority of the time. And, I’m lucky enough to have a husband who lets me keep the kids my #1 priority. I totally and completely acknowledge that my situation in not typical, which is why I didn’t really use it in bringing up the thoughts about “the question.” My husband doesn’t work at 9-5. It’s more like an 8-11 a.m., 2-4 p.m., and 6-midnight kind of thing. There’s a lot of flexibility and role sharing we get to do.

I guess I say that because, man, I know some moms who are working to just make it. Not to get the kids to Disney, just to make it. I know some moms who’s husbands would TOTALLY not understand any desire they might have to develop “home stuff.” Not every woman has the room I do to live mostly in the ideal.

And you know what, as deeply as I believe in the need for those of us who are skilled in the area of care, and nurturing, and “home stuff,” to be at home, I doubt. I mean, will my kids really be thankful for the home cooked meals and homemade curtains? I’m taking a huge risk in assuming they won’t look back and think, “Gee, I wish Mom would have gotten a real job so I could have worn Abercrombie instead of Goodwill.”  I’m just being honest here.

I guess I just hope we are all asking ourselves the right questions, about what God values, what we can contribute to our families, what’s really important. All our scenarios will be different, for sure, but I hope we are all seeking God’s will on these matters, and not just chasing the dollar, or the “norm.”

And lastly, I’m grateful.. for where God has led me, for the husband he’s given me, for the kind of contribution I’m trying to make.

AND

I’m really insecure about it more often than not.

So, yes, I said I was ready for “the question.” But – give me sec. I’m new here.

Thanks…really.

I hesitate to post anything new because I don’t want to short circuit the wonderful conversation happening in the comment section of the last post, but I just want to quickly interject – THANK YOU!

Thanks for all the good questions, challenges, and affirmation. I sense we are striking a chord that is ready to resonate loudly.

Love from all us crazy Dagers!

Excuse me. I’m new here.

**I’m about to make some sweeping generalizations here and I don’t mean to offend or put anyone in a box. It just helps me tell my story. You understand don’t ya?

I turned 35 a few months ago and sent my two oldest children to school down the road -  and totally did not know I was entering a new life-stage category. You know when you visit a church for the first time and you have to check the box indicating your age range? Well, unbeknownst to me, there is a life-stage range too, and I’ve been blindly hopping along unawares.

Apparently, I have just exited the, “Staying at home with my babies” life-stage and have tripped right into the “Go back to work” life-stage.  You’ll never guess how I discovered this! Someone asked me a simple question, one I’ve answered a million times in the exact same way, but suddenly, my answer was wrong.

The question asked was, “Do you work or are you at home?”

Now, I realize this is a totally loaded question, but generally people know what it means. We all know the possible combinations and reasons and complicated scenarios and we generally extend a sort of general grace over the question because really, how else can you ask it and cover all the bases?

Do you work? I mean besides all the “work” you do, do you work? I mean are you pursuing a career right now? Do you operate out of an office or home office? Do you pay for daycare or work out something with your husband? Who brings home the bacon, or most of the bacon?

See, it’s too complicated. The acceptable, baseline question is,  “Do you work or stay at home.” We basically just want to know if we call at 10:30 a.m.- will someone answer the phone? Just kidding.

Anyway, when I was in the “Staying at home with my babies” stage of life, and I answered the question, “I’m a stay-at-home mom,” people smiled at me. They verbally or non-verbally bestowed honor on me, nodded their head as if to say, “Good for you. It’s a sacrifice isn’t it. It’s worth it.” Even if they were working themselves, it was totally acceptable for me not to. Mutual respect was exchanged.

So, in this new life stage I just entered, everything is switched up. The expectations are totally different and I’m a bit lost in the shuffle. I was recently asked the question, “Do you work or stay at home,” and when I said, “I’m at home,” there was a very dramatic pause.

The follow up question…

“Aren’t your kids in school?”

The follow up response…

“Uh, uh, uh…” (Cheeks flushing, heart beat increasing)

“Well, I do help my husband with his work quite a bit. And I still have a preschooler at home most days. And we just moved here. And, and, and… that’s all… I guess.”

More and more, I’m finding that most folks expect someone like me – someone in her mid-thirties, with a college degree, with kids in school, to go get a job. After all, what is the purpose of being at home when there isn’t a baby to take care of? The bottom line is -

What contribution could I be making that isn’t significantly less important than bringing home additional money and furthering my career?

I admit it first sent me into a tizzy. I started a job search. I thought about going back to school. I felt low and lazy and stupid for not having a plan. There is so much to consider. There is an “In an ideal world” answer, and a “Real life, real bills” answer.

All the searching and struggling didn’t produce a plan (as I’d hoped) but it did produce a wonderful list. A list of the qualities, skills, and experiences that I absolutely value and as a family we will prioritize as we make decisions about how I spend my time from season to season. Now, that’s good stuff.

Guess what?  My list did not include a career exactly. Ideally, there is a set of skills I’m working on developing that will allow me to contribute to our work with college students in richer ways. There are skills that will allow me to continue to develop our home as a haven for the family and center for hospitality and ministry. There are experiences we want to have as a family that require me to be somewhat flexible and available (can you say – summer long training programs with the family!!!) and there are aspects of Ben’s job I want to totally take off his plate.

Does this mean I’ll never “work?” Nope. Again, that “Real life, real bills” variable is certainly a factor. But, my list gave me the freedom to assign value and priority to areas that have no monetary return. That is HUGE for me.

So, do you have a list?

Does it have a career on it? Great! Go for it!! When I ask you “the question” I  hope you’ll feel proud to share about your work experiences and plans.

And, I think I’m ready for the next time someone asks me, “the question.” And, could someone please warn me about any upcoming life-stage changes. I’d really prefer to be more prepared next time. Thanks!